Automated Bathroom Appliances... Really?

I would like to start out by saying, "Whose dumb idea was this?!" I mean, seriously? What is the purpose of these inventions? Is it because we are so incompetent that we need machine to flush our toilet for us? As I wash my hands, I, for one, always think about how difficult it is to turn the faucet. Sometimes it's beyond my physical capability.
Other than pure human laziness, this dumb appliance was first created for sanitation purposes. Some clean freak probably complained about having to tough the soap button, or the bathroom faucets, or, God forbid, the toilet handle, which you wash your hands after using anyway. For you clean freaks out there, suck it up! Half the time, the sinks and soap dispensers don't work. So how's that working out for you? Are you getting your hands washed anyway? I didn't think so. Even if you had to touch some germ infested surfaces, you at least would have been able to wash your hands a little bit.
So next time you're waving your hand frantically over the paper towel dispenser, or when you jump up while going to the bathroom because the premature flush scared you half to death, think about the person who first created them. And make sure you curse them as you walk out of the bathroom with unwashed hands.

Yeah... That's Exactly What I Meant

How many of you have ever been texting someone and said something brilliantly sarcastic, only to have them think you are serious? Or if you are on the other side of that and are too stupid to know the difference between clearly stated sarcasm and truth, well... you just annoy the rest of us. Get with the program! But anyway... my point is, we need a standardized sarcasm font. Think about it... we use all caps for yelling and italicize thoughts, but where is the special font for sarcasm!? Trust me, if we could invent something for that, people would no longer have to waste time explaining that we were being sarcastic. So think about it. Let me know if you have any ideas. The alternate option is shunning you idiots who just don't understand quality sarcasm.

Welcome... Was That Sarcastic?

Well hello all you bloggers that have nothing else productive to do with your time. You are the future of America. I feel so much safer. And with that... hello to all you bloggers who do have something productive to do and are just procrastinating. Join the club. In case you are all too obtuse to notice, this is a blog of complete sarcasm. Thrilling...I know. But in truth sarcasm is a necessity of everyday conversation. I mean, come on. None of you can pretend you haven't used it before. And if you do, well then you're just the epitomy of moral perfection aren't you? So I hope you all enjoy, or at least find entertainment in this blog. If you don't like it, go read something intellectual or something optimistic telling you how the world is a cake baked from rainbows and smiles. Yeah... that's so true.