How Old is Too Old?

            Halloween has a always been a much celebrated holiday filled with creative costumes, spooky decorations, and kids far too hyped on candy.  What isn't to love about it?

            As children, we spent the weeks preceding Halloween delicately planning the special night: preparing the perfect costume, mapping out routes to the best candy houses and deciding which of our friends and family we wanted to scare.  That one frivolous night with friends and family was something we looked forward to all year long.

            Then at some point in our lives, we realized trekking these miles in search of candy wasn't really worth it and we gave up the jocular evening.  As the years passed, we  began to pass Halloween off as "kid stuff" and many consider high school students, like ourselves, to be "too old" to go trick-or-treating.  Too old?  Since when has there been an age limit on fun?

            Granted, some teens still posses the self confidence to step out on the streets in a hilarious outfit on a quest to get candy.  However, the majority of teens feel awkward doing such things and subject themselves to the peer pressure of high school; a pressure which drives us to be popular and cool.  These two words seem to be a major problem with society today.  Those two elusive statuses should not be worth the sacrifice of fun.

            However, we are not the only guilty party. Teenagers are not the only ones who place age restrictions on the holiday.  Adults also consider us to be too old to involve ourselves in such immature events.  They discourage teens from going out and trick-or-treating.  This idea is based on the stereotype that teenagers will only get into trouble.  Some cities have actually imposed bans on children over the age of 12 going trick or treating.

            However, many don't seem to understand the concept that trick-or-treating gives teens something harmless to do.  Is it really a city's place to take away our childhood tradition?
           So I say, get out there!  Show your creative side and make your own costume (unless you really want to go as a slutty fairy).
                                            
   Come on, do you really want to look like this?                                Seriously, this is way cooler.

Go door to door with your friends gathering candy from generous neighbors. With adulthood and the pressures that go with it bearing down upon us, we must remember to enjoy the "childish" things in life while we can.  Hang on to those blissful childhood traditions and retain that playful spirit in life.  Adulthood is forever, but childhood is only temporary.

No Excuses

Before any of you say anything, I'm sorry.  I know I haven't posted in nearly two months, and I won't make excuses.  It's summer, meaning I should have time to do totally pointless stuff like writing a blog.  Any normal person would have time for it.  Unfortunately, we have already established I am anything but normal.  Hence, my summer has been filled working 3 jobs (one of which I don't even get paid to do), preparing for college, and satisfying my obsessive compulsive disorder by organizing everything I see.  Yes, I am sick.  But I'm not making excuses.

However, I do feel the need to point out another reason I haven't posted in so long.  I am continually coming up with new ideas for blog posts and as I write them down in numerous lists, I find myself becoming more and more overwhelmed by the many potentially awesome posts in my future.  Then I begin thinking that I have no time and often no inspiration to finish them and they will hence suffer and turn out to be considerably less awesome than I had originally imaged them.  This foresight only discourages me from writing these posts.  Have I ever told you my worse fear is failing?  So, by not writing, I can't fail.  Sure I'm letting fear win, but I'd rather lose (and this reminds me, for all you players of The Game out there, including you Poncho, I lost), than fail.  And again, these aren't excuses.

However, I've decided to start writing again in attempts to get caught up on my ideas.  As much as I hate to admit it, I feel the need to give my overbearing friend and constant presence on this blog, Poncho, some slight credit in this decision.  His incessant, irritating reminders have driven me close to the blink of insanity (and by that I mean closer than I already am).  So, here you are Poncho.  I hope this declaratory post is enough to satisfy you.  I kept my promise and I will keep posting in the near future.

In fact, I'm going to go start another post right now.  If I'm lucky and I managed to stay focused, I may even get it done tonight.  Cheerio much appreciated readers (yeah I need to think of a better pet name for my readers.  Any ideas?)

The Cheese Project

I am addicted to cheese.  That's all there is to it.  It's like a drug for me.  I come home from work, open the fridge, and decide I can eat a small slice of cheese to tide me over until dinner.  I eat my slice, instantly craving another as I finish it.  So I slice another and another and another (you get the picture) until I have no more cheese to eat.  I then go into hungry withdrawal periods until I am able to eat dinner.  This is me:

In order to save others from this harmful, addicting drug, I'm launching a campaign, which begins right here on this blog.  You know those meth ads you see every where?  Yes, the scary ones that make you not want to go to sleep at night.  Well, meth is nothing compared to cheese.  This is the official start of the Cheese Project.

Facebook Rulebook

Facebook has officially taken over the world. For centuries people have dreamt of world domination and failed miserably. Well, Mark Zuckerberg, you did it. You achieved what millions have failed to do. Congratulations on your invention that may well be the downfall of society and the human race. We're all very proud of you.

But I'm not writing this post to complain about Facebook. That would make me hypocritical. I, like 90% of people out there (even old people, which kind of freaks me out), use Facebook, though my addiction is significantly less severe than so many out there. I can easily live without Facebook with a small amountof self control, something most cannot say.

Though I use this site, I can't pretend that things (and people) on it don't annoy me. Since Facebook is taking over the world, I've decided there needs to be rules established for this kingdom to prevent such annoying anarchy. Therefore, I have come up with a list of rules for Facebook. You must all now follow them, or face my wrath.

There are five main components that make up Facebook, and each has their own rules.

The Profile Picture: The profile picture is major component of Facebook, considering modern society places so much importance on appearance.

1. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked at pictures of people (mostly girls, but this does not exclude you guys!) taken by themselves in the bathroom mirror. Come up with something better! It is really that hard to walk outside and point the camera at yourself? I've learned more about peoples' bathrooms from those pictures that their appearance. And FYI… fluorescent lighting makes you look green.

2. Guys- DO NOT make your profile picture one of your flexing. No, you don't look "buff" and it does not make others think you are cool. It also does not make girls think you're hot. You just look like a douche.

The Status: The Status is perhaps the most important aspect of Facebook. It is a gateway into your thoughts and life. A bad status can change the way people view you. Therefore, it has many rules.

1. Don't post vague statuses. I hate when people write something like, "Something really exciting happened today!" Yeah…. Soooooo? WHAT WAS IT? Seriously, don't post something if you're not going to tell others what it's about. If you don't want people to know details, then you probably shouldn't post anything about it on Facebook at all.

2. Be intelligent. I now this can be difficult for many of you out there, but please try. By intelligent, I don't mean that you have to say some sort of deep profound epiphany that will go down as history in the philosophy books. Just put some thought it what you say. Make sure others will actually care what you say and please, please, please spell it right! I'll give you a hint: If you aren't so good at spelling, Google Chrome has spell check for everything you type. There is no excuse for stupid misspelled words. Also, don't use text abbreviations. Don't say lol or 2 or anything like that. They're bad enough on cell phones. Don't let them invade computers.

3. Post things that summarize your day or a specific profound event. Don't tell us a menial aspect of your day like, "Brushing my teeth. Minty! Hahahaha!" We don't care about every little second of your life. I sure don't go no Facebook saying, "I wonder if so and so if eating dinner right now. I wonder what they’re having. I really hope they posted!" In fact, no one really cares about you say period. They read it because it's there. So please spare your friends of the dumb constant meaningless updates. That's what Twitter is for.

4. Control the number of times a day you post. Obviously if someone looks at your wall and see you've updated your status 5 times already, they are left with the obvious conclusion that you have no life. I know some of you don't, but you don't need to unknowingly advertise it by constantly doing things on Facebook. Limit your status updates to once, maybe twice, a day.

5. Don't post inside jokes as your status. Those are reserved for walls specifically. If you want to share an inside joke with a friend, post it on their wall. If you put it as your status, chances are they won't even see it. Hate to break it to you but your activity only shows up on about 30% of your friends' news feed. By the way, did you know that 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot? Anyway, please don't post statuses that will not serve their purpose and simply confuse all others who read it.

6. If you post a quote, post something either deep and thoughtful, or genuinely humorous. This goes the same for song lyrics. No one needs to read lyrics like, "My lip gloss brings all the boys to the yard." I think everyone can live without ever hearing or even reading that.

Pictures: Pictures are the third most crucial component of Facebook. They are it's visual and, considering we like in a scoiety of illiteral people who focus entirely on the visual aspect of everything, you need good pictures. This is 90% of all people: "Hey, words! I wonder what they say. Ooooh! Pictures! Let's look at those instead." Even if you are the most intelligent person which you demonstrate in your statuses, one dumb picture can ruin it all. Thus, here are some rules:

1. Don't post provocative pictures. This is the worst thing you can possibly do. It makes you look trashy and skanky. Most people don't realize that colleges and employers often look at Facebook profiles. Bad pictures can completely ruin your chances of getting hired to accepted to a college. Besides, do you really want creepy people looking at such pictures? Not likely.

2. Don't post drunken party pictures of you acting stupid. This goes for the same reasons as above.

3. Don't post bad pictures of friends. They will hate you. Granted, sometimes friends still get angry for pictures you post that they think look bad that really don't look bad. Use your judgment in such cases. If you think it looks bad, chances are everyone else will, too.

4. Don't call yourself a photographer on your albums just because you were screwing around with a camera and got a few good pictures. This does not make you qualified as a photographer. It will only annoy those of us that are who have actually studied it and made a business out of it.

Apps: Apps can be a fun aspect of Facebook if youa re bored. However, not everyone has time to play on such games. Therefore, DO NOT send requests to other to "join me on your farm!" We don't want to! And even if we did, we may not have time so by flaunting that you have time to play games, you're pretty much slapping us in the face. It's a way of saying "Haha, your life sucks." But most the time, we just don't want to play stupid meaningless, pointless games. We would rather be doing something productive so stop sending requests. And please don't answer questions either. Most people don't care if you think they look good in a bathing suit. Not to mention the fact that an offensive answer on such applications can give you enemies for life.

Friends: What would Facebook be without friends? Nothing. You would be a lonely soul posting things for no one only pretending like people care. Gee, kind of sounds like blogging. Hmm... Anyhow, friending is also a fine art to master in the concept of Facebooking.

1. Don't confirm friend requests from people you don't know. Can we say Facebook stalker?

2. Vice versa, don't friend request people you don't know. Then you become the stalker. If you're going to stalk, be discrete about it.

3. Don't accept requests from people you KNOW you don't like or find annoying. This simply means that you will end up seeing all of their annoying posts that will make you want to rip your hair out as you read them.

4. Lastly, and most importantly, DO NOT friend your parents. I think we can all understand why on this one without explanation.

So there you have it: The Official Guide to Facebook. Follow it or I will find you and hunt you down on Facebook.

Now, as a fun little bonus, I put together a list of signs to tell if you or someone else is Fobsessed (Get it? Facebook Obsessed- Fobsessed? Okay, it's not that funny).

You know you're Fobsessed when you…

1. Facebook stalk on a daily basis

2. Update your status more than two times a day.

3. Go into withdrawal period where you have uncontrollable seizures when you must go a day without Facebook.

4. Have over 500 friends. I mean come on, it's not like you're actually friends with that many people. That many people don't seriously like you. They just accept your friend request because they are tired of ignoring it as you keep requesting them.

5. Actually play the dumb games like Farmville.

6. Take more than 4 quizzes a week.

I could come up with a lot more signs that your Fobsessed, but that whole ADHD thing is completely killing me right now. I might come back and add more later. But I'm curious to know if you guys are Fobsessed. Let me know in my comments on this post. This should be a fun experiment.

UPDATE: There's a great website out there that lets you see just how dumb people can be on Facebook. Use their mistakes as a learning experience. It's www.failbook.com. Enjoy!

There Goes My Sleep

Well, on an up note, I got one of those fancy Wacom Bamboo tablets for my birthday. What does this mean? It means my pictures will no longer suck! Well, not as badly anyway. I'm pretty obsessed with this thing and I think it's going to help put inspiration back in me. This is me right now:

The Something of Something or Other

I am going to post something here at some point today. I'm not exactly sure what yet, but I figure this incomplete post announcing this fact will motivate me to actually do it.

UPDATE: Alright, I know.... I suck! I fail at life. I said I would blog consistently and it's been, what, like 3 weeks since I lasted posted. Trust me, I'm just as frustrated with myself as you are, or as I like to imagine you are. Maybe that's just me in denial telling myself that people actually read this blog and want to hear what I have to say. Even if no one does read this, I'm still very disappointed in myself. In fact, this is where I rank on the Awesome Scale of Awesomeness (which I will now use to rate everything).

I'm so un-awesome, I don't even deserve a rank (meanwhile Chuck Norris is so awesome he's above the ranking).

The reason I haven't posted lately is because I feel completely uninspired. It is as though every ounce of witty sarcastic humor have vacated my body. I think I exhausted it. Each time I go one Facebook, I try to think of something witty to post as my status and can come up with absolutely nothing. Sad, yes. This post in and of itself is so lacking of humor that simply writing it makes me feel as though I'm being mauled by a bear: a dull unimaginative word bear.

This is how I feel:

Anyway, I promise I'll get back to posting (especially since school is done) as soon humor reenters my body. Perhaps aliens will abduct me and insert it back into my body like a probe. Or maybe that's how I lost it..... O_o

I Can't Really Put a Title to This Post When It Talks About Nothing

So you know those times when you really, really want to be able to do something but you just can't? Well, that's how I feel right now. I really really want to do a blog post since I didn't last night, but at the current moment, I am lacking in time to write any of my awesome ideas that will most likely end up being very long researched posts. And by research, I mean telling myself that I'm doing research when I'm really just screwing around doing absolutely nothing.

You may be asking yourself where this post is going. The truth is, I have yet to decide where it is going. I'm rambling in hopes that my meaningless rants will magically transform into something that people want to read about. So far, I fail. Don't mistake me, I have a ton of blog ideas, but none that I have time to write about in the half hour time allotment I have before leaving for track Divisionals.

To some of you, a half hour may seem like plenty of time. But those of you who have ADHD or a terribly easily distracted mind like myself will understand how difficult it is. So instead, I'm writing this post, still hoping it will turn into something..... Nope, not yet.

I could turn this post into a stupid joke. What is the deal with boxing rings. They call them rings, but they're square! They're so... square? You see? This is exactly why I can't do stand up comedy.

Well, I'm gonna stop writing now before you all decide you hate me. If you guys already do, I don't blame you. I kind of hate myself for being so lame and unoriginal right now. I think I'll go punch someone to cheer me up. Maybe Poncho. That usually makes me feel pretty good about myself.

So yeah, that's really all I have to say. Sorry for wasting your guys' time. I'm just gonna go get on the bus now...

Grocery Shopping + Hunger = Bad

Today I went grocery shopping and came to a conclusion. Grocery shopping when hungry is the WORST IDEA EVER!!! You end up wandering aimlessly in the isles, impulsively scooping whatever sounds good into your cart. And when you're hungry pretty much anything sounds good. "Ooooh, moldy socks sprinkled with dirt?! Yum!" Throws in cart.

Of course, then there's the unnecessarily painful checkout of costly food coming to a total of much more than you originally thought.

Cashier: That'll be $85.97

Me: Oh. Looks in wallet. I have $10, and, wait, uhh, 66 cents.

Cashier: Sorry, that's not enough.

Me: Wait, wait! Digs frantically in wallet as if more money has magically materialized since I last looked. What about a Border's gift card?

Cashier: ……

Me: Oh fine. I'll put it all back.

This is but one possible outcome. There is the chance that you have the money to buy everything, do so, take it home, and don't have the room to store it. It then remains sitting on the counter, mocking you and constantly reminding you of your pathetic moments of impulse. If you manage to actually find room in the cabinets to put everything away, you forget about the totally random cans of soup and bags of chips. They remain in this forgotten state until either freezer burn, mold, or staleness decides to step in, in which case the food is rendered useless and the money you spent is wasted.

So to save people from such horrible outcomes, I believe grocery stores should have a hunger sensor at the door that senses if you are hungry. If you are, the sensor would then begin omitting an annoying series of loud beeps and warnings. This is will either warn you of entering while hungry, or cause you to leave from sheer embarrassment at having caused such an annoying commotion. You know what? That is EXACTLY what we need. I should really patent these ideas.

Milestone!

As of 30 seconds ago, this blog hit a milestone with 1000 page views. Even though I still only have 8 followers, people are looking at my blog! This is good news. My stats page says that even people from Slovenia are looking at it. Yeah! My blog is international. I rock! Now I just hope more people start following it.

I Know What's Wrong With Me!

So, pretty much my entire life, people have told me there is something wrong with me, whether it is due to my complete and total OCD or compulsion to overachieve on everything. The exact classification of my mysterious disorder has remained elusive to me for all these years. But at last, the truth has been revealed. I have (drum roll please)…. ADHD!

Okay, you may have been expecting something a little more spectacular, but this is exciting news to me. I finally know what's wrong with me. I took this test online about a week ago. I scored a 105, though I'm not sure what this number means. Is it a percent? Am I really more than 100% ADHD? It can't be that bad. I mean, it could be, but still. They should really just explain what the number means.

Anyway, I thought about blogging about this revelation the day I found out about it, but then I got distracted by Criminal Minds and cleaning my room and memorizing quotes for fun. I really do need help, don't I? Well, now I can blame the ADHD. So, what exactly qualifies me for this grand disability , you may ask? I compiled a list:

NOTE: These were all questions on the test in which I was required to mark as Very True, all the way down the scale to Untrue.

1. I am ALWAYS moving. When I'm sitting down, I physically can't not move my hands for legs. If I stop, I suddenly become aware of a tingling and heaviness in my limbs.

2. I get unbelievably annoyed by minor things that should not annoy me. Anyone who knows me can testify to this. It pretty much happens on a daily basis. If someone mispronounces something, it will literally ruin my entire day. Just today, my chemistry lab sent me into near mental breakdown because it was not cooperating at all.

3. I can’t decide in which order to complete a series of tasks. Before I decided on doing this blog post, I went through and started several different ideas. This is also going on my third hour of typing this due to the fact that I keep switching back and forth between ideas. Even when doing homework, I start working on one subject and get bored with it so I switch to another. As I work on that subject, I think about how I should be doing Subject 1 and how it would just be easier if I finished Subject 1 first, so I get nothing accomplished on Subject 2 and switch back to Subject 1. Besides, I can always finish it in the morning. Of course, then I start watching TV or blogging and end up getting nothing accomplished, forcing me to cram both in the morning during my free period.

4. I have a temper. This goes along with point #2 but just to let it sink in, I'm telling you guys twice. I get seriously annoyed and angry at stupid things. Like the fact that I CAN'T TYPE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! My backspace button is getting way more exercise than it should.

5. I really like applesauce and I want some right now. In fact, I'm going to stop typing and get myself some applesauce. On the way to my fridge, I'll probably get distracted by my book laying on the table and decide to read a few pages then get applesauce, then go put some of my laundry away, then plunk away on my keyboard, then realize I still haven't finished my blog post, and THEN come back and finish it. Wow, I got winded just typing that.

5. I say things without thinking and later regret having said them. I do not think before I speak. I speak with whatever thought is on my mind in complete sardonic and often brutal honesty. My impulse to talk first, think later, has made a lot of people dislike me. Not that I really care what people think of me, but it has still made certain situations much more difficult than the needed to be.

6. I'm always on the go. Yet another one of my problems is that I seem incapable of saying the word "no." This is a serious problem but I'm fairly sure there's no disease that causes this. Just insanity. No matter how much I have going on in my life, I always seem to find room to bury myself more and get myself involved in some sort of pointless activity which I don't even enjoy doing. I seriously need help.

7. I love daydreaming. I mean who doesn't? The difference, however, is that some people do it occasionally and know when to stop. I daydream all the time. Whether I am thinking of a blog post or writing my novels in my head or coming up with mental lists of things to do (and getting completely overwhelmed by them until by brain seems to synapse and shut down all functions), I never focus. Most the time, I hear a sort of white noise in the background of what I'm supposed to be listening to, but I don’t actually hear it. There have been many instances where I have actually held conversations while zoning out, then had absolutely no idea what was said.

So that is what is wrong with me. At least I know why I am the way I am now. My life is not so completely mysterious. Perhaps this discovery can give me some order to my life and help me resolve my issues. Eh… Probably not.

Luckily, I am way too motivated and determined to let this defeat me. I'm just lucky I'm so dedicated to schoolwork. If it weren't for my awesome self discipline, I probably wouldn't do half as well at school. Maybe everything about me isn't completely messed up.

Treacherous Traveling Tips

As most of you probably know (considering those that are reading this blog at point are all people I know), I recently went on a European expedition to Spain, Portugal, and Morocco, Africa. Now I know what you're all thinking: Awesome! Spanish food, hot Spanish men, flamenco dancers, the Mediterranean Sea, and bombings in Africa! That sounds like a blast. As much fun as these things were, there are a few things that the Travel Channel does not prepare you for while on a vacation abroad. Thus, I have put together the ultimate guide to travelling around the world. Okay, maybe not the world, but at least in the countries I went to.

1. Bring a rape whistle. In a foreign country, there is always the risk of some creepy man jumping out of a dark deserted alleyway and kidnapping you. So, always bring a rape whistle. You can actually even get those fancy backpacks that have one built in.

2. Don't trust the milk. Europe does not believe in milk, at least not the normal healthy kind we do. Europe believes in thick creamy milk that is somewhere crossed between coffee creamer and whole milk. IN addition, they do not believe in cold milk. Their milk is simply left to sit fermenting on the counter, breeding who knows how many germs and e-coli bacteria. I'm not even sure the milk was from a cow. It was probably from a llama or maybe a camel. Either way, not my first choice of milk to drink.

3. Crossing streets=dangerous. In Europe, the only thing more dangerous than creepy rapists waiting around every corner, is the traffic. Here, pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way. If you are in the road, a car will hit you. This leaves you with the option of either A) walking way out of the way to find a crosswalk, as they are far and few between, or B) taking your life into your hands by skillfully running through the gaps between the cars. On the plus side, my European experience gave me the perfect opportunity to perfect my sense of timing. You'd be surprised how much the threat of painful death or extreme injury can rapidly improve your physical capabilities. By the way, there are no speed limits in Europe. Not one sign exists. This therefore transforms the cars from normal vehicles into speeding missiles of death.

4. Bring a face mask and a lot of Axe. So I know it may seem like the worst smell in the world is the overpowering scent of guys when they feel the need to drown themselves in cologne, but trust me, in Europe, you're going to be the one forcing your man into a bathtub filled with Axe so it permeates his skin and will give off the odor for the remainder of your trip. Wow, longest sentence ever. This smell would be a relief to the incessant overpowering smell of smoke that seems to follow you EVERYWHERE in Europe. Unlike America, there are no laws against smoking in public facilities, and to make it worse, everyone smokes. I swear I even saw a baby smoking. Well, maybe not, but it wouldn't surprise me if I had seen it. The smoke hangs in the hair like an angry cloud of gnats that follows you everywhere. It clogs your nose and soaks into your skin and clothes making it to where you need to takemultiple shows and do multiple loads of laundry to get it out. If you travel to Europe, this is something you can't avoid, but you can, however, save your lungs from blackening with lung cancer in the few days you are there. Where one of those lame hospital masks, even though you may look dumb. But hey, most natives think tourists looks like idiots anyway, so it really doesn't matter.

5. Pick the right payphone. Choosing a payphone to call home on is a very critical decision which should be made with great care. Why is this decision so important? When talking on a pay phone, time is critical considering each minute is wasting Euros, which translates into a lot more American dollars. This precious time should not wasted. So, don’t pick the pay phone outside of a night club with a crazy guy offering you free shots. Form experience, he will not go away when he sees you talking on the phone, but will instead be even more insistent and become even louder. He will also ensure the band in the club plays extra loud. Don't pick a pay phone that looks beat up.

More than likely, it won't work and you'll end up wasting about 10 minutes attempting to make it work, since we as humans seem incapable of admitting something is broken and we are not intelligent enough to conquer it. Don't go in the cool red, British phone booths. Yes, they make you look awesome and give you the feeling as though you are entering the Ministry of Magic, but they do not work. These booths were very unfriendly. My attempts at using them ending in a disappointing failure, and embarrassing arguments in the middle of a busy street with an inanimate object. Just stay clear of them.

<---------See how happy and cool I look in this picture with this awesome pay phone? Yeah, I'm really not talking to anyone. I'm only putting on a happy face and acting as thought I'm talking to someone for the sake of taking a picture of myself in one. There is no one on the other line other than my own mind yelling at the dumb phone booth.

In short, Europe is a wonderful place that is both exciting and dangerous. It will provide plenty of moments in which you will get ample opportunity to make a fool of yourself in front of other ethnicities, embarrassing your country. These are the moments that make Europe worth it. So put on your bets tourist clothes, strap that camera around your neck, and put on your rape whistle, and you're set to go!

To Set the Record Straight...

Some of you may have recently read a post preceding this one written by my so called "friend." For the sake of this blog and his own humility, we'll leave his alias as Poncho. As much as I may hate to admit it, he is my friend, though I have yet to really discover why at times. Though his post was somewhat accurate, I feel the need to correct several things.

1. His grammar is atrocious! For someone who calls himself brilliant, he honestly does not know how to use punctuation very well. As chief of the grammar police, it was all I could do to the leave the post unedited for the sheer purpose of making fun of it later.

2. Going well with the topic above, Poncho described himself as "highly intelligent" and "under ambitious." The latter is true, however, I protest to the first. I cannot deny that Poncho is an intelligent individual, depending upon your definition of intelligent. He knows random facts that seem useless in life, yet somehow always manages to use them against me. Due to this, his is unbelievably and annoyingly good at making things up on the spot to make himself seem smart. However, he wastes this natural gift with laziness and complete lack of desire to succeed.

3. Did anyone notice he spelled his name two different ways? Poncho and Pancho? Well, which is it?! I've decided to keep it Poncho. Pancho reminds me too much of a combination between a poncho and panda. I imagine it to look something like this:

4. Poncho is clearly very humble don't you think? Not! Dashing good looks? More like overbearing vanity. Hair is the object of his obsession, whether it be his own or someone else's'.

These were just a few crucial facts I felt the need to share in order to fairly represent my humble friend Poncho, who likes to exaggerate things a bit to the max. Hopefully, any lack of posting on my part will not lead to his interference in my blog. If that happens, STOP READING! Who knows what could possibly come up if Poncho decides to begin posting on a regular basis. If nothing else, grammar-phobics like myself may simply be forced into a state of insanity.

Message of a Friend

This is Ambers highly intelligent , under ambitious friend who shall be named Poncho. Let me say over the past year I have observed Ambers over active obsessive need to be more than perfect in everday life. This has been rather entertaining to watch and at times very dangerous. However if Amber ever manages to capture the insane aspects of her eccentricities into a semi active blog then I would readily endorse that blog. However annoying at times, and even though she fails to understand that violence is not the answer, she is a talented writer with an interesting view of life. It is a little bit of a mystery as to whether Amber will keep her promise or whether, I, Pancho, hacker extrodinaire will have to make pick up the slack and make some posts myself. But chances are this blog will experience a sudden increase in posts per months.
So chances are if you've read this blog you know a little bit about Amber. Please allow a moment for my own totally sincere, humble, and un biased introduction. I am latin american with flowing black hair, that would be the envy of most any man. My dashing good looks are marred only by my irresistible charm, and an award winning sense of humor. and I have an affinity for masked affairs which is why I am called Pancho. I am the only person with male genitalia, to garner even the tiniest ounce of respect from McDaniel which is a nearly impossible task. I will always try represent the truth, to undermine Ambers opinion, and to annoy Amber by calling her a silly little girl at any available moment.
Viva la justicia
Pancho.

Does Failing at Failure Make Me the Ultimate Failure?

Dear Blog,

I would like to apologize for being so abusive lately. I realize that I haven’t posted anything on here in nearly 3 months. You probably assume I hate you and are about ready to perform the Internet equivalent of slitting your wrists. If you were a baby, child services would have come to my house and pried you from my desperate arms. I'm sorry. It will not happen again.

Truly,

Amber

I felt the need to write this apologetic post to my blog because I have neglected it. But that's in the past! I promise I'm going to blog on a regular basis from now on, even though I have a total of four followers at this point. You know what? When this blog becomes more popular, people will go back and read all of my older posts and say, "Wow, she has so many more followers now!" At least, that's how it goes in the perfect scenario of my brain, which experience has taught me is the opposite of what happens in life. Just watch, now that my brain thought this, I will start losing followers, which is nearly impossible, so it would be an impressive thing to achieve.

Alright, on to why I decided to reenter the world of blogging. A) I have no life. Today, my mom bailed on seeing a movie with me. That's just pathetic. Not only do I not have time or energy to call friends to go see one, but I get bailed on….by my mother! Now is a good time to considering flushing my head down a toilet. B) It is a major confidence boost to pretend that people actually care about what I think, even if none of you do. C) I am officially sick and tired of bending to the rules of high school. Why must I dedicate ALL of my time to homework which would be just as good if I spent half the time on it. Why must I get myself involved in so many things at once, when I find no enjoyment in some of them. I'll tell you why. It’s because I'm sick. I have a mental disease which renders me incapable of saying no. I also have this paralyzing fear of failure making me assume that if I spend extra time on everything, I will never fail in my life, which is very untrue. Still, let me believe that it is.

But you know what? I'm taking a stand against this scholarly oppression. Instead of sitting here doing homework for hours on end, I'm going to refuse. I am refusing and it feels good. Instead, I'm sitting here blogging. You hear that homework? Yeah, that's right. My blog now comes before you. So you can suck it and go feed yourself to my dogs (This is extra funny because my dogs actually have eaten my homework before).

This is liberating. I feel great right now. It's as though a weight has been lifted from my chest. Oh, who am I kidding. It's like I've added a million pounds instead. I can't pretend I don't care. That's not me! Curse my stupid overachieving OCD fear of failing personality.

No, no I must be strong. I must hold my ground. Resist the urge. AHHH!!! It's calling me. I can hear the Albert Einstein calling me to do my chemistry homework (it seemed appropriate for my mind to imagine the voice of Albert Einstein to personify chemistry).

As this post comes to a close, I find myself in a depressed state knowing I won't be able to resist the urge to do something productive. Well, I'm going to surrender and go do my homework. Yeah, yeah I know I'm weak because I actually want to succeed with my life, get into a good college and be successful. I fail at failing. What kind of sick person am I?

PS- I may have failed miserably at my protest against homework (which lasted a total of 4 minutes) but I promise I will not neglect this poor blog for so long. I WILL blog. If I don't, those who actually take the time to read this blog (thanks guys! At least some people find me funny) can chose some horribly painful or embarrassing torture to inflict upon me. Yeah, making this promise was definitely a smart idea. After all, who doesn't love a good torture session? Oh right… me.

LOL!!!! (not)

You know what I hate? Texting! What moron ever decided that putting a messaging source for anytime of the day on a phone was a good idea? For one thing, as a student, they cause nothing but problems. Teachers seem to think that we are "cheating" by texting other students, when, honestly, we are texting our parent. Yes that right… our parents. As sad and almost pathetic as this fact is, it's the truth. Yet, it matters not to teachers. They take our phones anyway and then our parents yell at us for getting our phones taken away. Really? You've got to be kidding me! It's a futile battle that simply ends up spinning around and around in a vicious circle.

In addition, texting gives people you have absolutely no desire to talk to the ability to start a conversation with you whenever they please. And it's not as simple as ignoring a phone call. "Oh sorry I missed your call. I was in a movie." Does this excuse work for texting? Nope! Because texting can be done silently and it is thus expected that one texts back. So then you are left with the internal debate of just stopping the conversation and risk angering the person, or keep suffering in misery. Now, if you chose the first option, you should always think of an excuse so when you next talk to said person and they ask why you didn't text them back, you have a more intelligible answer than "I- Gah- Duhhhhhh," (lights self on fire). So here is a list of excuses that are sure to work:

- The Lame Excuse: Sorry my phone died.

- The Distraction: Oh I'm sorry, I just… Hey! Is that a unicorn?!

- The Turnaround: What text? You never replied to mine. This is all your fault!

- The Phone Death: Sorry, my phone self destructed

- The Theft: A ninja came and took my phone!

- The Nerd Reference: My phone turned into a Transformer.

- The Discovery: I found the door to Narnia. Turns out there isn't cell service there.

- The Never Fail: Chuck Norris threatened me and said if I didn't give him my phone, he would kill me with his pinky finger.

Now, if you have managed to still love your phone's text messaging capabilities at this point, I'm hoping this last point will ruin it for you. If not… get off this blog and go do something more meaningful with your life. Like texting! OMG! How exciting! So this leads me straight into my next point. Text lingo. OMG! 4COL! TIGAS? LOL! See how dumb I just sounded? Well that's how dumb about 90% of teenagers sound these days. I mean, what did I even just say> Does anyone know? I thought the point of texting was to help convey messages faster. Now I have to spend like twenty minutes looking up abbreviations to figure out what the stupid things even says. And what's worse, not only is it present in text messages, but it is now appearing in everyday conversation. When I hear "OMG, he is, like, so lame. But whatevs. I'll BRB," I want to rip my head off. That makes us sound so intelligent. You know, I think future employers are really going to appreciate that on you application. Yet, as much as I try, this one blog post isn't going to change anything. Instead, the most I can do is provide a list of common text lingo abbreviations and their true meanings to save time for those of us who hate decoding every message.

-LOL: I have nothing left to talk about but I don't want to stop talking so I'm going to keep saying this even though absolutely nothing is funny.

-OMG: Wow it is shocking how much I don't care about your stupid problems or gossip you're trying to tell me.

- BRB: The nice way of getting out a conversation without really getting out of it (A.K.A- I don't want to talk to you)

- IDK: I really do know but I don't feel inclined to tell you or explain it to you.

- LMAO: I'm trying to feed your ego by making you think you're really funny, but actually, you're not.

- TTYL: I'm trying to be polite by telling you I want to talk again soon. In reality, I will not talk to you again until I have to.

- GTG: I "have to go." Sorry, I guess I have to stop talking. Dang.

- L8R: I'm too lazy to spell out two extra letters.

- K: I'm angry with you and I don't want to talk to you. So I'm using short words to convey my anger. Hopefully, you'll get the hint and shut up.

Well, I GTG. TTYL! L8R! Seriously, this just needs to stop.

The Alien Argument

Today, for some odd reason, the topic of aliens popped into my head, like many thoughts do at random. I began to think back on all the times I had gotten into debates over the possibility of aliens existing and I still can't believe how close minded we as humans really are. So many of us don't believe in extra terrestrials and many that do simply believe it because they think it's funny to argue a seemingly idiotic idea. My point is, even those who pretend to believe, deep down, don’t. But why shouldn't we believe? Are we as humans so naïve to think that we are the only forms of intelligence in the entire universe? The content of space is too great to even fathom. Imagine you are looking at the night sky. Each of those tiny twinkling stars is another solar systems that contains who knows how many planets. We can't even reach the planet next to our let alone other solar systems. And who knows… perhaps there are other galaxies beyond our own. These mysteries of space are so vast that even with the most advanced technology we won't be able to decipher them. With this vast region of space, there must be other planets with intelligent life forms. What makes us so special? I suppose it's simply the human ego coming out in all of us to think that only we are deserving. Typical…